We talked about it a couple nights ago. We were laying down and he mentioned the fact that he will be taking classes soon and I didn't know what to say to him. I just laid there really quiet trying to act like it didn't matter to me. He said he feels bad that he will have to ignore me for a while, because of his studies and I had to say "I understand" because well, I do. He's going to school and school is more important than our relationship. I know that and I accept it. I would never want to come between him and his studies, that would make me a bad person and I care about him too much to be in the way.
It sucks, because, I finally find the person that actually is perfect for me. He cares about me, he isn't needy, he acts like a man, but he's sensitive, he makes me feel good, and he always thinks about us, before just himself. I love that about him, but I found him and now I have to let him go. I guess, this is where the "If it is meant to be yours, it will come back to you" phrase comes in. The thing is , I don't think that I will ever be able to let him go. It just hurts too much.
During the conversation, I didn't say anything, I just tried to act like it didn't mean anything to me, like the whole thing was just another fling and I felt so bad about that. When he left, I thought to myself, "You idiot!" you should have told him how you feel! ...
But I didn't .. and now I don't know what I'm going to do...
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